


Turnabout Is Fair Play

by Tekhnetos



Series: Robot Pickup Lines [2]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Explosions, Like I'm really sorry, M/M, More shitty pickup lines and bad flirting, with even worse comedic timing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 15:26:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tekhnetos/pseuds/Tekhnetos
Summary: “Did you just break one of Asimov’s three laws? Because you’ve got ‘fine’ written all over you.”“The Doctor doesn’t program his robots with those.”





	Turnabout Is Fair Play

**Author's Note:**

> I am back again, sorry it took me so long with this, but in my defence I got a little sick. The good news is that I am now on holidays, so I should have plenty of time now.

Eggman was a creepy old man and no one could convince Sonic otherwise. 

He knew this because if Eggman hadn't been, he wouldn't deliberately make his factories so dark and menacing. Surely Egghead could afford some better lighting? Some atmospheric music? Nicer decor? Less looming robots in the shadows and mazes of crates that would have been near impossible to escape if Sonic had not had the speed to try every path? And it stank. Of what exactly, Sonic wasn't sure, but the thick industrial smell of chemicals would have made him want to throw up if he had paused long enough to actually concentrate on it. 

But the the supreme creepiness of Eggman’s design choices was none of Sonic’s concern right now. It would be gone soon anyway since his entire reason for being there was to blow it up. Tails had identified the factory as the major cause of the sudden pollution in the area, so it needed to go down. The fact that Eggman used robots instead of actually employing anyone was only working in Sonic’s favour as he didn’t have to worry that anyone would be hurt in the explosion. 

It was supposed to be easy: Sonic needed to find the power source, place the explosives Tails had given him on it, and then get out again. He would have already been finished by now if not for the aforementioned maze-like layout of the massive factory. But it shouldn’t be much longer now, because Sonic also knew that the power source of the factory was in the centre so as not to be easily attacked. Ironically enough this was what made it the prime target to destroy the entire factory in one blow. There were only so many paths to take when sonic knew where he was aiming to go. It only took a few more minutes - which was still far longer than he would have liked - until he was able to see the huge glowing cylinder of who-knew-what in the centre of a large square clearing in the stacks of crates.

That must have been it. 

There was just one problem: as Sonic peeked around the corner of the crate he was standing behind he could see Metal Sonic was standing guard. That could be a problem.

It was with a great deal of embarrassment that Sonic remembered the last encounter with his robotic counterpart, and more specifically, his own reaction to it. He had frozen up completely and made an total idiot of himself. When sonic had gotten home after that particular encounter he’d been extremely confused and had gone on to make a valiant attempt to eat his feelings. He hadn't been able to figure out what exactly had happened. He’d eaten half of a whole cake and a whole packet of cookies while hiding out in his room like some teenage girl who’d just been flirted with by the guy she had been crushing on all year. It had been rather pathetic now that he looked back on it; after all, Metal had just been messing with him as a distraction. The robot hadn’t actually meant any of what he had said to Sonic. Getting so thrown off balance and flustered over it had been stupid. It didn’t mean anything. 

Still, that hadn’t stopped Sonic from replaying the incident in his head and preparing for the next time they met. Sonic had been preparing for this confrontation for a week. Granted, more than half of that time had been spent trying to figure out what exactly had happened, but once he'd figured it out he had been fine with it. And honestly? it was on. Sonic had come prepared to throw down. 

So when Metal patrolled around the other side of the alien looking generator Sonic soundlessly darted out the plant the explosive that Tails had given him. Then he ran back over to his spot at the opening in the crate maze and called out to Metal as soon as the robot came into sight, “Did you just break one of Asimov’s three laws? Because you've got ‘fine’ written all over you.” 

“The Doctor doesn't program his robots with those.” Metal replied after a solid three seconds of silence, all his attention fixed on Sonic and not even glancing back at the generator to see the bomb that would have been in plain sight if he had. “Also why would I have ‘fine’ written on me? You are not making sense.” 

Sonic probably should have expected that response. 

“I don’t know,” he replied “it’s just something that people say when someone else is attractive. You called me hot last time, if you can understand that why not ‘fine’?”

Metal tilted his head to the side “So calling someone ‘fine’ it is another colloquialism for attractive?”

Sonic nodded, “Sure.” Whatever the hell a colloquialism was. 

“Anyway Mets, this great and all, but are we gonna stand around here all day or are you not even going to try —” The sentence went unfinished when Metal quite literally launched himself in Sonic’s direction in response. The hedgehog immediately ran passed the robot, down deeper into the crate paths. He needed to keep Metal distracted and stop him from returning to the generator for just two more minutes. After that the explosive would go off; if Sonic could keep his counterpart form noticing it that was. It might also be best if they were outside when the explosion happened. Sonic was not particularly keen on being blown up, and for some reason that he immediately decided not to contemplate to deeply, would rather Metal was not destroyed either. 

Escaping the factory would be no problem though, he just needed to make sure Metal kept chasing him. “You’re to slow!” he called back at the robot, “You don’t have a hope of catching me like that.”

That seemed to have the intended effect of pissing Metal off thoroughly. “You loathsome inferior copy!” Sonic could hear the robot’s furious screech from behind him, “Come back here and fight me! I am the superior Sonic!” 

“Nah, I’d really rather not,” he taunted, “You’ll have to come catch me first.” Hopefully Metal would keep following him. 

One more minute to go now. Metal looked like he was calming down as he raced to catch up to Sonic, but it wouldn’t do for him to give up once Sonic had been chased outside. He needed the robot to keep coming after him. Sonic twisted back to look at Metal and cupped his hands around his mouth, calling back at his counterpart, “Hey Mets, were you built for use on Mars? ‘Cause your chassis are out of this world.” 

Metal tripped over seemingly nothing at all and hit one of the crates with a sound similar to a car crash. 

Huh. Apparently Sonic wasn’t the only one affected. Still, now was not the time. Thirty seconds left. 

He needed to get out and he needed to get out fast. Sonic took several turns in rapid succession and nearly slammed into the walls by taking the corners too sharply. Looking back as he approached the exit he noticed with some panic that he couldn’t see Metal. His momentary panic was dispelled a moment later as Metal burst straight through the wall of crates on the right, having likely gotten lost in one of the other aisles and just used his engine to blast his way through without caring about Eggman’s goods. That was good, if Metal wasn’t thinking rationally enough to care about that the he likely wouldn’t notice that the chase was all a distraction until it was too late. 

Ten seconds. Sonic left through the huge doors with Metal right behind him, and then pivoted on his feet to face the robot with an excited grin. “Well, this has been a real fun time pal, but I have to go now.”

Metal had to dig his feet into the ground hard in order to avoid colliding with Sonic. “What are you going on about now? The battle is not yet concluded! We have yet to even fight —” The robot was cut of abruptly by a massive whoosh of ignition and the sound of shattering wood and tearing metal as the building behind him exploded into flames. He turned to stare at the flaming wreckage for a moment and then looked back to Sonic, who’s grin had only grown larger in that time, “You —”

“You made my heart skip a clock cycle,” Sonic interrupted smoothly. The shit-eating grin on the hedgehogs face only grew wider as he took a step backwards and blew a kiss at his robotic counterpart, “Its been real fun but I gotta run now. See you ‘round next time handsome,” He called, pivoting on his feet once again and easily accelerating off into the distance. 

The sound that Metal generated and played through his speakers closely resembled claws scraping over a chalkboard as he stood infront of the burning factory. It didn’t even occur to him to chase after the hedgehog until Sonic was already far out of sight.

**Author's Note:**

> You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth criminal.


End file.
